When someone special dies, it’s important to say goodbye, honour their memory, and come to terms with their death. Throughout history, the traditional way to do this was to hold a funeral, and for many years it has played a vital role in the process of bereavement.
The need to mourn hasn’t changed, but the ceremonies we use have. An increasing number of people are choosing to celebrate a person’s life rather than mourn their passing. This type of ceremony often includes music, for a funeral, poems, readings, and even favours for guests to take away.
A funeral is typically a formal ceremony where people gather together to mark the passing of a friend, family member, neighbour or colleague. Here the death is acknowledged and it is traditional to have the body of the deceased present during the ceremony.
A funeral service can be held in a place of worship, but these days most take place at a crematorium or cemetery chapel. The content of the ceremony is based on the liturgy of faith or general custom. A small number of funerals also take place at funeral homes, prior to a separate burial or cremation.
A widely recognised secular format is to have three pieces of music (for entry, a time of reflection and exit), a eulogy and some favourite readings, and words of committal or farewell. The entire service will typically take 30-45 minutes to allow for other services on the same day.
In contrast, a celebration of life event is designed to express the life and relationships of the deceased which can be done through the choice of venue, music, food, decoration and tributes. It follows no particular religious rites or requirements, and the body of the deceased is not usually present.
The event is tailored to the wishes and personality of the deceased or their family and friends, and could last an hour or even a whole day.
For many people, the traditional funeral rites feel too old-fashioned and impersonal. People are also choosing to commemorate a person’s life in a positive way, steering away from funeral services based on religious or cultural traditions.
There are no set rules to follow.
It could take place within a few days of the death but is more liely to be a few weeks later, giving time to craft the perfect send-off, book a great venue and to find a date that allows the key people to take part.
You can even choose to take part in your own celebration of life or funeral. Living funerals are a relatively new phenomenon, but they are gaining in popularity. If you are planning ahead, then you can make sure your family and friends are celebrating life your way.
Planning a celebration of life is similar to planning any other gathering to mark a life milestone such as a big birthday or anniversary.
For example, you need to decide on the time and place to hold the ceremony. There’s also the task of letting everyone know about the event, and what elements to incorporate in the ceremony.
The good thing about a celebration of life is that you’ve got all the time you need to make the arrangements because there is no set time frame to stick to. Here are some steps that will be helpful to follow:
Music that the deceased enjoyed will naturally be part of the playlist for the event, but you may want a track that expresses the emotion of the occasion itself. We’ve compiled a list of the best celebration of life songs that are played at such events. You’ll find joy for life in the lyrics, in the melodies, and the beats themselves.
Unlike a funeral, a celebration of life isn’t focused on sorrow and sadness. It’s a personalised, often joyful occasion for laughter, storytelling, and happiness as well as a few tears. The focus is on the person’s life and not their death.
Because it is not entirely a sombre occasion, it is not typical for people to wear black as they would for a funeral. You can decide on the dress code for the event, some specify bright colours while others opt for fancy dress!
It's normal to worry about the cost of a funeral, but when it comes to a celebration of life event, you get to decide how much you want to spend and set a budget. If you have financial constraints, prioritise the most important details, such as the type of food and the venue. Having a budget also gives you some guidance when it comes to the number of guests to invite.
There are no set rules about what you need to do at a celebration of life event. However, it should capture the essence of who your loved one was and celebrate their incredible life. Here are some celebration of life ideas to include in your farewell event:
There are no rules when it comes to a celebration of life, and no limit to the number of ways you might wish to pay tribute to someone you have loved and lost. Here are some examples of ongoing remembrance:
Are you planning a celebration of life or a more traditional service? Either way, you can find inspiration in these stories for a special memorial service to say goodbye to a loved one.