If you ever find yourself arranging a funeral for a loved one, a eulogy plays an important role during the farewell event.
Writing a eulogy is a way to say goodbye and help everyone remember the life of the person who has died. While there are no rules you have to follow, it isn’t an easy task. This guide contains some helpful hints and tips that should make the process of writing a eulogy much easier.
Ancient Greeks were the first to write eulogies, and the tradition is still followed today. It is a common practice, but not all cultures and religions include a eulogy in their funeral proceedings.
A eulogy is often called a funeral tribute speech. It is an opportunity for people to recognise the special qualities, relationships and achievements of the person who has died. It is usually a speech about the person’s life and what they meant to you. You might be asked to deliver a eulogy during a funeral service, but it might also play a part in any celebration of life.
Being asked to write a eulogy should be considered an honour because it is one last gift you can give to the deceased and the loved ones they have left behind. It’s also a sign that you played an important part in that person’s life, or are trusted to deliver the family’s memories and tribute to a high standard.
Every eulogy is unique. What’s most important is that it comes from the heart.
A good eulogy highlights the lasting impact of a person on their family and community, how they made a difference to those around them.
The person chosen to give a eulogy can depend on the format and type of funeral service.
The emotional nature of the occasion means that often a professional (such as a minister or celebrant) is asked to write and deliver the memories and facts that they have gathered from family and friends.
However, family members can be involved if they wish in both the writing and delivery of this tribute. Children can give a eulogy at their parent’s funeral, or a spouse could give a eulogy at their partner’s funeral.
Alternatively, close relatives can write the content and ask a friend, or another family member to deliver their words.
A eulogy for a funeral held at a crematorium must fit in with the service time available, which could be as little as 5-8 minutes long (allowing for pauses and emotion). A funeral eulogy of between 500 and 1000 written words should take no more than three and a half to seven and a half minutes to speak.
A celebration of life event held away from the crematorium gives more scope for the length, style and format of the eulogy, as well as providing a more relaxed setting and opportunity for more people to participate.
There is no one size fits all approach to writing a eulogy because each person is unique.
The golden rule is to start by considering the most important elements fo the person’s life and how to communicate them.
Talking to family members and close friends about the deceased will identify matieral that they’d like you to include as well as a favourite story or anecdote they want you to share. You can use social media to invite colleagues and members of the wider community to share their memories too.
You’ll find plenty of inspiration via obituaries and online tributes, plus eulogy examples.
The most memorable eulogy speech will be one that paints a portrait of a complete life. To do justice to the life of the person who has passed away, it’s a good idea to include:
Start your eulogy by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship to the deceased. If you’re an immediate family member, thank guests for attending, particularly if they’ve travelled a great distance. If you’re not a family member, express your condolences.
You can then talk about the deceased and what it was that made them unique. If there is more to say than the time allows you might want to state that you are delivering a short summary and offer a full version that mourners can acces after the service.
The end of a eulogy should be heartfelt, whether it’s sad, funny, or uplifting. The closing lines should also match the tone of the rest of the eulogy.
This type of speech is meant to provide a sense of comfort and closure for mourners, so adding an inspirational quote at the end can be very powerful.
Another powerful way to end the eulogy is to send mourners away with words of comfort that the deceased would say to them if they could. This might be a favourite motto, line of poetry or quote from a favourite movie hero.
Offer words of comfort and perhaps a final farewell in closing.
There’s no funeral etiquette involved when it comes to giving the eulogy. However, here are some tips to help you feel less nervous.
In today’s digital and visual age, bringing together treasured images, video and pre-recorded words in a visual presentation can be a very effective eulogy. This may be something that younger members of the family would enjoy being involved in and has the added benefit of recording the tribute in a less emotionally-charged setting, with the option to go over sections until each is perfect.
The best eulogy is one that captures the essence of the person who has died, but it’s not an easy thing to do. To give you some inspiration, here are some of the best speeches of modern times.
There are lots of ways you can pay tribute to a loved one and say goodbye. A memorial service, for example, is a ceremony for mourners to honour the life of the person who has passed away.
A scattering the ashes ceremony is another option. You might choose to scatter the ashes somewhere meaningful such as a favourite beauty spot of theirs. Then, organise an event where family and friends can come together to scatter the ashes and say a few words.
Other possible options include: