When someone dies, it’s often left to their closest relatives or friends to arrange the funeral. This can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re also dealing with grief, practical tasks, and decisions you’ve never had to make before.
A funeral director can guide you through the process, taking care of paperwork, transportation, and arrangements for the day itself. But with so many options available, and prices that can vary widely, how do you choose the right funeral director for you and your loved one?
In this article, we’ll explain exactly what funeral directors do, how to compare services, questions to ask, and even whether you need to use one at all. We’ll also look at alternatives, including direct cremation, which gives you more freedom to create a personalised farewell while keeping costs lower.
What does a funeral director do?
In the UK, a funeral director, sometimes called an undertaker, coordinates both the practical and ceremonial elements of a funeral. They can take on as much or as little as you need.
Common tasks include:
- Explaining your choices for the funeral service
- Handling essential paperwork for burial or cremation
- Collecting the person who has died from the place of death
- Caring for them until the funeral takes place
- Arranging the funeral venue, celebrant, and service details
- Providing a coffin and organising pallbearers
- Coordinating transport such as hearses and limousines
- Overseeing everything on the day to ensure it runs smoothly
- Managing charitable donations made in memory of your loved one
For someone arranging a funeral for the first time, having an experienced professional on hand can be invaluable. They can guide you through decisions, help with legal requirements, and make sure the funeral reflects your wishes.
However, you don’t have to hand over every element. Some families ask a funeral director to manage all arrangements; others take on parts themselves, such as planning the ceremony or organising the music.
Do you need a funeral director?
It may surprise you to know that there’s no legal requirement to use a funeral director in the UK. You can handle everything yourself, from paperwork to transport, if you feel able. Many families choose to use a funeral director because they aren’t aware of the alternatives or feel reassured by professional guidance.
If you want more involvement, you could arrange a direct cremation, where the cremation takes place without a service, and then hold a separate farewell at a time and place that suits your family. This can be much more affordable while still allowing for a meaningful celebration of life.
You don’t need to rush your decision
When someone dies, it’s common to feel an urgent need to “get things sorted” quickly. But unless there’s a specific religious or cultural reason for speed, you usually have time to consider your options carefully.
If your loved one dies in a hospital, arrangements can often wait while you research providers. An unexpected death that involves the Coroner can also give you more time.
Even if a particular funeral firm collects your loved one initially, you’re not obliged to use them for the whole process. You can choose a different provider later, paying only for the initial care and transfer.
Taking time to compare services and prices can prevent you from paying more than you need to and ensure you find the right fit for your family’s needs.
Step 1: Decide what kind of funeral you want
Before contacting any providers, think about the type of funeral you’re arranging. Your main choices are:
- A traditional funeral – usually arranged through a local funeral director, including care, transport, and a service at a crematorium, church, or other venue.
- Direct cremation – an unattended cremation carried out by a local or national provider, with ashes returned to the family. You can then arrange your own memorial or celebration of life separately.
- DIY funeral arrangements – handling all elements yourself, such as care, transport, booking the cremation or burial, and planning the farewell.
If your loved one had a prepaid funeral plan, check the details first. Some plans require you to use a nominated or approved funeral director to benefit from the cover.
Step 2: Compare funeral directors and providers
Choosing a local funeral director
A local funeral director may be the right choice if you want to:
- Arrange everything face-to-face
- Visit your loved one in a chapel of rest before the funeral
- Keep them close until the day of the service
Most local funeral directors work within a radius of 10–15 miles. They may charge extra for travel outside this area.
Even if your family has used the same funeral firm for years, it’s worth comparing their services with at least one other provider. Online research, local directories, and recommendations from friends and family can all help.
Do I choose an independent or a large group?
Some families prefer the personal touch of an independent, family-owned funeral director, while others are comfortable with larger chains. Ownership can affect the style of service and pricing, so it’s worth asking who actually runs the business.
Two main trade associations can help you find providers:
- National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD) – members include both independent and group-owned firms
- National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF) – members are independent only
Membership means the firm must meet certain professional standards, follow a code of conduct, and be transparent about pricing. However, some excellent providers choose not to join either organisation.
Considering national providers
Some providers operate across the UK, including direct cremation specialists like Pure Cremation. This option can be more affordable and offers families the flexibility to plan a personal farewell.
With a direct cremation, the cremation happens without a service, and ashes are returned to the family. This means you can hold a memorial later, in your garden, at a favourite location, or in a community hall, without the constraints of a traditional timetable.
Step 3: Check reviews and testimonials
Reading feedback from other families can give you a sense of the level of care, professionalism, and flexibility you can expect. Look for:
- Independent review sites – such as Trustpilot or Google Reviews
- Verified client testimonials – ideally with details about the type of service provided
Pay attention to whether reviewers mention compassion, clear communication, and value for money.
Step 4: Prepare questions to ask a funeral director
When speaking to potential providers, have a clear list of questions. This will help you compare like-for-like and avoid hidden costs.
Key things to ask:
- What are your professional fees, and what do they include?
- Are there any optional or extra charges?
- Can I choose my own coffin or transport?
- Do you require a deposit? How much?
- When is the balance due?
- Can friends or family carry the coffin?
- Are you able to tailor services to our wishes?
Request a written quote so you can compare providers fairly.
Step 5: Make first contact by phone
A short call can give you a good feel for how a provider operates. Notice whether they:
- Listen carefully to your needs
- Answer questions clearly
- Provide pricing without hesitation
- Avoid pressuring you into making a decision
This is also the easiest time to compare costs. Funeral director fees for similar services can differ by as much as £2,000 in the same area.
Direct cremation prices are generally lower, but always check what’s included – such as doctors’ fees and the return of ashes.
Step 6: Arrange a meeting (if needed)
If you’re considering a traditional service, meet in person before committing. The premises should be clean, comfortable, and professional, and staff should be approachable and respectful.
For direct cremation providers, arrangements are often made by phone or online. In this case, review the provider’s website carefully. Look for transparency, clear information, and evidence of where they are based.
Step 7: Get a written quote
Once you’ve narrowed down your options, ask for a written estimate that includes all agreed-upon services. Take time to review it – a reputable provider will give you the space to make your decision.
Arranging a cremation without a funeral director
If you’re confident about handling the ceremony yourself, you might only need professionals to take care of the practical side of cremation or burial.
An unattended cremation followed by a separate memorial service can give you:
- More freedom over the venue and timing
- A chance to personalise the farewell completely
- The ability to invest more in the gathering itself or donate to a cause in your loved one’s name
You’ll still need to complete certain formalities, such as registering the death and obtaining the necessary certificates, before booking the cremation or burial.
With Pure Cremation, you can arrange everything from home by phone or email. We keep you informed at each stage, from when your loved one comes into our care, to the date of the cremation, to the safe return of their ashes.
Choosing a funeral director is a big decision. By understanding your options, comparing providers, and asking the right questions, you can find the support that feels right for you and your family, whether that’s a local traditional funeral director, an independent family firm, or a national direct cremation provider.
If you’re considering a simpler, more flexible option, direct cremation could be the right choice. At Pure Cremation, we can guide you through the process with compassion, clarity, and respect, helping you create a farewell that truly honours your loved one. To find out more, call our friendly team for free at 0800 470 23 93 or download our free guide to funeral plans and funerals.
